#1 Barrier to Permanent Sobriety

My neighbor shouted to me over the fence that he had an extra ticket to the ballgame, and asked me if I wanted to join him and his friends. I was two weeks sober and determined not to let my affliction ruin my life — social or otherwise. “Thanks — sounds like fun!” I shouted back. I boldly told him I wasn’t going to drink and I could drive the whole group there and back. He looked a little dismayed at my proclamation and offer, but mostly thankful that I’d solved a problem for him.

There were so many things wrong with my thinking, my acceptance and my offer. I was an alcoholic in early recovery, and the very last place I should have gone was to a Major League Baseball game with a bunch of beer and booze swilling guys on a Saturday night. But my stubborn conviction about plowing forward with a life unchanged save the lack of beer in my hand was making my bad decision for me, and off to the Rockies game I went.

The drinking was fast and fierce sprinkling in shots from the club level bar with copious amounts of beer. The questions about my abstinence came after they were all about three drinks in. “Why aren’t you drinking? I don’t understand.” The very idea of attending a Rockies game sober seemed beyond comprehension to my neighbor and his buddies. It was as if they were asking me why I bothered to live and steal their air and occupy the seat that could have been…