3 Reasons Relapses Aren’t OK

We tell our teenagers not to drink, then follow it up with, “If you do drink, don’t ever drive.” Leaving out the second part would be parental neglect even though it tacitly undermines the instruction to abstain altogether. Kids understand where we draw the line in the sand. Not drinking becomes a strong suggestion with limited consequences. As parents, we are in one of the many impossible situations inherent in loving teenagers.

I answer emails and texts and social media comments and phone calls daily from people dealing with temptations to drink alcohol and violate their commitments to sobriety. While each situation is unique, and thus my responses are individualized, generally speaking, I try to provide encouragement, information about brain chemistry, resources for pro-recovery nutrition and suggested activities that worked for me when I was in their exact same situations.

But I never tell them it is OK to give in and drink.

That would undermine their lifesaving efforts to quit. That would weaken their resolves. That would be tacit permission to tumble backwards — even just this once.

I would never say that because I don’t believe it is OK to drink. Alcoholism is a downward spiral, and early recovery is all about changing the trajectory of our lives. The transition from hopeless…