Alcoholic Denial | Sober and Unashamed

If you’ve been lied to by an alcoholic, don’t take it personally. Denial is the cornerstone of the disease. And believe me, no one is getting lied to by an alcoholic more than the alcoholic himself. We don’t want to do it. It is not in our DNA. It is not a sign of spiritual deficiency. It isn’t a choice, either. In fact, when I was in active addiction, and expending massive amounts of energy hiding my predicament, I swore to my wife that I never lied, and that I was the most honest person in her life. And I believed that to my core.

Denial is a powerful tool. Sometimes, when we feel trapped and alone — out of options and staring the stark and bitter reality right in the face — denial is all we have left.

Sometimes, often really, denial is what keeps us drinking.

I wish I had bookended my college career with success and achievement. Maybe I could have started as a freshman with advanced placement credits to reduce the number of classes I needed to graduate. Maybe I could have ended my four years by graduating with honors. You know, some shiny braided adornments on my gown. No one really knows what that flare means, but when we see a picture with a dozen smiling graduates on graduation day, it is easy to pick out who the educational institution designates as the smart ones.