Alcoholism Recovery: We’re All in this Together

I used to think sobriety was about determination and willpower. I remember countless mornings when I swore I would never drink again. Never. Sometimes I didn’t drink for months. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes days. Sometimes, my determination was replaced by anxiety or frustration or pain, and I drank that same evening.

Alcoholism is a diabolical disease, and it hasn’t a thing to do with willpower or determination. Alcoholism is about how our different brains react to being poisoned. For some of us, the experience is euphoric, and our brains adapt to prioritize alcohol. We aren’t weak or broken. We introduce our brains to one of the world’s most highly addictive substances, and our brains take the bait. And just like that, we are hooked.

I remember those mornings of determination like they were yesterday. I would stare into the bathroom mirror feeling utterly defeated. My eyes drooped, my face was bloated and my skin was pale and sweaty. My physical appearance only enhanced my self-loathing resulting from another night of losing control of my drinking. Some nights I stayed out too late. Some nights I argued with my wife. Some nights I withdrew from my family and sulked in private. But every night before my morning of determination — always — my drinking was out of my conscious control. The part of my brain that I had convinced to equate…