All the Days at a Time: Why AA Needs Disbelievers Like Me

One day at a time. I hate that dogma. When I needed to get sober, the idea of thinking about it each day — making a daily commitment not to drink — felt like a form of imprisonment. I wanted to make a permanent lifestyle choice and move on. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t underestimating the gravity of the decision. I tried and failed to quit drinking enough times that I understood how impactful and significant the decision was. I equated it with the decision to get married or have kids. I wanted to make a decision that once done, could not be undone (at least not without major effort and negative consequences).

On the other hand, I understand how important those five words are to millions of people. One day at a time means you have to make a permanent life decision. You just have to decide not to drink today. For some people in early sobriety, the one day at a time approach can lift a huge burden of foreverness, and put the commitment easily within reach. One day at a time can be a lifesaver.

I have heard from thousands of people, however, who can’t live one day at a time. The idea of attending a meeting daily and renewing their resolve daily feels empty and leaves them vulnerable to making a bad decision any one day that could impact the rest of their lives. For them, like me, the comfort is in the permanence. The mental…