“Alright, Alright, Alright”-Why Matthew McConaughey is my Last Remaining Trigger.

The story, as told by a friend close enough to Matthew McConaughey to sleepover at his house, goes like this:

They were all drinking and bullsh*tting around the backyard firepit. In the wee small hours of the morning, the storyteller had enough-enough hours awake and more than enough booze-and he left Matthew and the dwindling number of lingering imbibers, and he went inside to bed.

The next morning, the storyteller awoke, dehydrated, and regretting some decisions from the previous night. He was thankful, however, that he hadn’t kept going like his certain-to-be-hurting friends that he left by the fire a few hours prior. The house was quiet as he turned on the television. He kept the volume low out of empathy for his host and other friends who would surely still be “sleeping it off” well into the afternoon.

As his sleepy eyes came into focus, he could not believe what he saw on the television screen. There on the sidelines of the University of Texas Longhorn’s football game with the noon kickoff time was Matthew McConaughey, smiling like he owned all the secrets of the universe.

This story isn’t hard to verify as McConaughey is making the publicity rounds…