Drinking Alcohol to Relax: The Big Anxious Lie

It takes me about ten minutes to lock down our house each night. That’s a long time to secure a small, one story bungalow. It’s kind of a problem. I get irrationally upset if my wife needs to get something out of the car in the detached garage or water the plants after I’ve set the alarm. I’m getting better, though. It used to take fifteen minutes.

In addition to locking the doors and checking the windows, I ensure nothing flammable is near the furnace or water heater, I confirm the stove and oven are off and I make sure no electrical cords are being crushed under the legs of the beds (a common reason for house fires — Google it while you laugh at my pain).

My obsessive-compulsive disorder is one of several forms of anxiety from which I suffer, and they are all remnants of 25 years of heavy drinking. How do I know alcohol is the reason I lock and recheck the front door between two and eight times an evening? There are three reasons.

1. I wasn’t like this before I started drinking. Now, that was in my mid-teenage years, and I didn’t own a house or have any responsibilities, really. But paranoia or OCD are not among my many memories of my pre-drinking years. Something changed me.
2. My anxiety is getting better as I am now well into my third year of sobriety. That includes the paranoia of the…