Guilt Spiral: Why Harm Reduction is Dangerous

Relapse. It’s such a dirty word to us alcoholics. When we first dip our toes into the frigid waters of sobriety, avoiding relapse is, quite necessarily, our singular focus. But it happens, and when it does, our failure can be brought on in a variety of ways. Sometimes it happens in an instant — a solitary trigger overwhelms us, and we are drinking before we can rationally process the situation.

But often, relapse doesn’t work like that. It isn’t instantaneous and unpredictable. Often, relapse is the last step in a series of events. It is a downward spiral spread out over some period of time. We try to fight it, but resistance seems futile. It is as if the universe or the devil is working against us in a diabolical plot to keep us mired in alcoholism.

But what if I told you we are our own worst enemies — that we are the reason relapse is sometimes unavoidable? That by the choices we make, and our own faulty strategy to beat alcoholism, we give the demon strength and renew our vow of loyalty to our addiction. When we ignore science and do recovery the traditional way, we are to blame for our own relapses.

My very last relapse occurred about three months after my second-to-last drinking session. The relapse didn’t start with a drink, it started spiraling down about 22 hours prior to consuming alcohol. It started with…