He’s Sober. Now What? A Spouse’s Guide to Alcoholism Recovery

I’ve found statistics that indicate a 20% increase in divorce rate for couples dealing with alcoholism in the marriage. That number is not surprising to me. The overall divorce rate in the United States is roughly 50%, and it makes sense that addiction to alcohol adds significant challenges for couples to overcome in order to stay together.

But those aren’t the important numbers — not to me, anyway. The statistic I’m interested in doesn’t exist. At least I can’t find where this subset has ever been studied. I’m curious about the rate of divorce in marriages where the alcoholic gets sober. Based on the stories I know, and our personal experience, I’ll bet that divorce rate is over 80%. I thought getting sober was the hardest thing I’d ever do until I experienced the damage recovery did to my relationship. Recovering our marriage from alcoholism is the challenge of our lives.

Sobriety doesn’t fix anything. When I quit drinking, our relationship got much worse before it could begin to get better and recover.

Social media is full of what I refer to as rainbows and cotton candy posts about sobriety from addiction. I don’t get much out of the unicorns and bubblegum inspiration about how everyday is perfect…