Intimacy is Critical to Recovery | Sober and Unashamed

There’s nothing more important to a successful marriage than intimacy.

There are things that are equally important, like trust (which is the cornerstone of intimacy) and loyalty and cohesive parenting and mutual protection, but there is nothing important, if a long-term romantic relationship is to thrive, than intimacy.

These aren’t the ramblings of a horny teenager. I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking about the emotional connection that takes place at the intersection of vulnerability and sexual contact. It is important. In fact, nothing is more important. And if we are going to solve the catastrophic intimacy problems that are enmeshed in alcoholic relationships, we’d better stop moving intimacy to the back burner and downplaying it as hopeless, and thus, unimportant.

Marriages can survive without intimacy. They can limp along, year after year, in underachieving disappointment building resentment and making us feel unworthy of blissful love. We can stay together for the sake of the kids, or because the mortgage is in both of our names, but what kind of existence is that?

We only get one shot at the human experience. I’ve messed up huge chunks of mine to be sure. But there is no way I’m going to let the mistakes of my past keep me locked into accepting a subpar…