Patience: Not just a Skill, a Destination

It is said that those of us who suffer from alcoholism froze our emotional maturity at the age at which we started to drink regularly. I am living proof of the voracity of that statement as I lived decades of my life, well into my early sobriety, with the emotional maturity of a teenager.

Impatience is a cornerstone attribute of emotional immaturity, and my ability to calmly wait for anything was as undeveloped as that skill can be in a human. I learned early in my recovery that patience was a tool I needed to master if I hoped to make it over the elusive hump to permanent sobriety.

My own history of attempts at sobriety, and subsequent relapses, provided ample necessary proof that my impatience wasn’t serving me. I made it to six months of sobriety twice, and to nine months once, only to start drinking again because I still felt depression and anxiety, and joy had not yet returned to my life.

There was no big temptation.

The cravings did not get the best of me.

I just ran out of patience for the process of healing my hijacked brain.

So I started drinking again. I expected months of sobriety to accomplish changes that take years to make. I lacked both the knowledge, and the stamina, to reach the finish line.