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Penis Burning Chili | Sober and Unashamed
Have you ever eaten chili so hot that it burned your penis? Well, I have. In fact, I not only ate it. I made it. And I tried to serve it to my family. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start this story at the beginning.
For several years, my wife received a subscription to Martha Stewart’s magazine for a Christmas present. I’m not really sure how much Sheri got from the monthly compilation of food, crafts and home-decor tips, but I loved it! Every month, the morning after it arrived, Martha accompanied me into my tile and porcelain office, and I examined all the seasonal recipes with great delight. I was more enamored with the savory than the sweet, but even a simple sugar cookie recipe from the queen homemaker, Martha, deserved a cursory glance.
One autumn, maybe a decade ago, I opened Martha’s mag to find it staring back at me in all of its simple and authentic glory: The “Cowboy Chili” recipe that would leave an indelible mark on my manhood.
With only eight pure and basic ingredients (beef (chunked, not ground), tomatoes, cumin, oregano, jalapenos, garlic, onions and dried chilis), it was billed as authentic because that octumvirate of staples always accompanied cowboys traveling in a western wagon train. It also attracted my attention because it was simple enough for a culinary neophyte to attempt. I said I read…