People Pleaser | Sober and Unashamed

I scoffed at the weak and undisciplined among us. I felt superior to anyone who struggled to control his or her sweet tooth. At a restaurant with clients or friends, I boldly drank my dessert, choosing Irish Coffee over the Creme Brulee everytime. I drank extra-bitter, extra-strong IPAs. When I drank a bourbon and Coke, I asked the bartender to hold the Coke. There was nothing sweet about me…just ask my wife.

Then I stopped drinking.

It had never occurred to me that beer — even a bitter IPA — is basically carbonated sugar water. What the hell did I think malted barley was? As I weaned off of alcohol, I discovered a ravenous sugar addiction lurking just behind the booze bottle.

My ignorance about myself extends far beyond my alcohol-induced addiction to sugar. I also had a misguided interpretation of my relationship to other people — especially people in power who exerted influence over my direction and activities.

I’ve never been afraid of conflict. Back in college, I ran my mouth quite a bit. Mostly I got away with it, but not because I was cautious or physically intimidating. I mostly avoided being pummelled because I had a really big best friend, and no matter how drunk I got, I never forgot to check my shoulder to make sure he was there before I made a crude joke at the expense of another.