Sex, Alcohol and Ignorance Breeds Alcoholism | Sober and Unashamed

My mom likes to tell the story at family gatherings and other social occasions. “When I approached Matt and told him it was time for us to have, ‘the talk,’ he replied, ‘Sure mom. What do you want to know?’”

It is a chuckle-worthy story that illustrates two things — one accurately and one inaccurately. As a teenager, and into my 20s, my sexual confidence often bordered on arrogance. But it also might lead one of my mom’s guests to believe we had open and honest communication about sex and sexuality. She tried, and so did my dad. But they both viewed “the sex talk” as something to check off of a list. We did not engage in the kind of honest vulnerability that might have led to a healthy education about sex and intimacy for me as an adolescent. I don’t blame them, really. I have yet to meet anyone from their generation who could talk about sex as openly as is required to lead youths to a healthy adult outcome. My generation isn’t doing much better.

I am 49 years old. It was a long time ago when I was experiencing puberty. Long enough that I definitely conflate the influence and the education I received from my parents with the formal education I received from the public school system in my small town in Southern Indiana. As I recall, the messages from those two of the four sources of my sexual education were…