Staying Sober in a world that is Scary & Constantly Changing.

When I think about September 11, 2001, the emotions come flooding back.

The anger and sadness, the fear and patriotism-all of it was driven by a stunned and reluctant fear of the unknown. All of those emotions were so palpable that even now, 19 years later, they are easy to conjure.

But there is another emotion, too. Shame. I can and do still wear my shame for how I managed the aftermath of the worst terrorist attack on United States soil like a cold, wet blanket. I was a drinker in 2001. Not an alcoholic. Not yet. But I was growing increasingly adept at managing all of my emotions with alcohol .

When it was time to celebrate, I was eager to raise a glass. When it was time to mourn, I was quick to drown my sorrows. Stress relief, relaxation, romance, excitement-you name it-I was ready to drink alcohol.

And when I was full of rage, fear, sorrow, and trepidation on and after 9/11, I drank a lot to manage those emotions. I came home after an unproductive day of work and sat on my couch with a bottomless glass of vodka and watched cable news coverage of the developments. I did it day after day because I didn’t know what else to do. The vodka offered a slight soothing effect, but mostly it boiled and stirred all the raw…