Warning: Sobriety Side Effects may include the Emotional Maturity of a Teenage Boy.

My wife hates hairy faces.

I recently returned from chaperoning a week-long youth mission trip. The eight males on the trip all shared one shower, one toilet, and one sink in a church basement. I knew that bathroom time would be at a premium, so I left my razor and shaving cream at home, thus enabling me to get in and out with maximum efficiency.

My wife came to greet the mission van when we returned home, and when I reached out to hug her, she looked at my seven-day beard and pushed me away. I tried again, and she rejected me again.

I am needy and sensitive. That rejection crushed me. The last few days of the mission trip were lonely, and I had high hopes for passionate intimacy on the night of my return (after I shaved, of course).

My wife was mostly messing around when she pushed me away, but it still hurt. I don’t take that kind of rejection well. I’m a writer. I’m vulnerable for a living.

My vulnerability is almost always rewarded with admiration and support. When my written opinions and experiences are rejected, I’m prepared for it because I write some controversial stuff. My skin is thick, and I’m eager to defend my opinions when faced with rejection and alternate points of view.