What if Everyone had Known? | Sober and Unashamed

What if everyone had known everything right from the beginning? What if my dirty little secrets, that started as rare indiscretions or occasional overindulgences, were on display for all to see? What if the progression of my drinking, and the progression of my moodiness, anxiety, irrationality and depression, were plastered on the outside, instead of insidiously roiling on the inside?

What if there were no secrets? Only increasingly despicable truths. Truths everyone knew. What then?

I would have gotten sober a lot sooner, that’s what. I never would have crossed that invisible line into addiction. It would not have been easy, but the truth sure would have made the decision simple.

I don’t much care what most people think of me now. Our concern for the opinions of others exists on a spectrum. Time is a factor. At age 50, I know who I am — what I am capable of and what my limitations are. Our concern for the opinions of others naturally diminishes over time. But time isn’t the only factor. Self-esteem plays a big role, and I feel pretty good about myself. I have nothing to hide. I mean, I had a rash six months ago that I never did identify, but I eventually found the right cream to rub on it, and it went away. I guess I hid that. But that’s about it for secrets for me.